


Rolling In The Hay - Roadtrip Sides

by Thorinsmut



Series: The Roadtrip AU [2]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Anal Sex, Bondage, Camping, Chocolate Covered Strawberries, Complete, Cuddling, F/M, M/M, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay, Polyamory, Porn Without Plot, Safer Sex, Side Stories, Smut, Threesome - F/M/M, Trans Character, Vaginal Sex, all the smutty asides, and wine, everybody's human, gratuitous oral sex, muffing, trans man!Bifur, trans woman!Dori
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-23 06:41:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4866944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thorinsmut/pseuds/Thorinsmut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where all the smuts everybody's getting up to during the Roadtrip AU go.</p><p>Chapter 1 - Dori/Bifur/Thorin in Rivendell<br/>Chapter 2 - Nori/Dwalin in Rivendell<br/>Chapter 3 - Beorn/Bombur at Beorn's<br/>Chapter 4 - Bilbo/Bofur near Mirkwood</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rivendell - 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin and Dori and Bifur have an enjoyable evening together in Rivendell

When Dori kissed Thorin, her lips tasted like chili peppers. He drew back in surprise. "You're having the chili brew?"

Dori laughed and raised the bottle to her lips, taking another drink. The Company were just beginning to drift off to their tents in the relative comfort of Rivendell's camping field, and her eyes were shining from the fire and dancing. "Lavender is perfectly acceptable in _soap_ ," she answered. "I'm not drinking it."

Thorin finished off the last of his meadowsweet-and-lavender herbal brew. "It's not _bad_ ," he defended as he passed the bottle over to be rinsed and placed with the other empties. Elrond had been sure to remind everyone that the bottles would be reused.

Dori just shook her head and finished her own bottle. Thorin accepted it from her and passed it down the line, his hand taking hers in its place. He kissed the back of her hand, brushed a loose lock of silver hair out of her face and cupped her round cheek as he leaned forward to kiss her again. He was not caught off guard by the faint chili pepper heat on her lips this time. She kissed him as sweetly as ever she did, and Thorin moaned slightly as her hand came up the cradle the back of his head. They had spent a fine evening in each others company, dancing and singing together, and Thorin dared to hope to share more.

"My nieces seem have claimed Ori for the evening," Thorin observed as he stood, offering Dori a hand up as well. Ori wouldn't be expecting to share a tent with Dori, and of course Nori and Dwalin had already excused themselves to their tent. "Would you join me?" Thorin asked.

Dori accepted Thorin's hand with a smile, which turned slightly apologetic. "I would love to, but Bifur already asked..." she turned toward Bifur, who was meticulously stirring up the dying embers of the fire.

Bifur looked up at his name, gathering the gist of the discussion in a glance. He gestured them off together, smiling through his thick black-and-white beard.

On a whim Thorin held a hand out to Bifur as well. "My tent is large enough for three," he offered, looking back and forth between Dori and Bifur for their reactions. Bifur grinned eagerly. He had not often shared Thorin's bed, but those times he had were pleasant memories. Dori nodded, her eyes shining as she looked back and forth between them.

"I will... join," Bifur said, waving them off again and returning to the fire. Gloin was coming up from the stream with a bucket of water to douse it, and Thorin stepped away to leave them to it with Dori's hand in his.

"I'll just grab my things," Dori said, leaving Thorin with a peck to the cheek. He had a moment to check over his tent on his own then – to make sure it was all presentable and that Fili and Kili hadn't left any pranks in there. They seemed to have grown out of their pranking stage, but it would be just Thorin's luck for them resurrect it on the one night he was entertaining company. Thankfully there were none. Thorin made sure there was a fresh bottle of water available and was just finishing brushing his teeth when Dori joined him. Her mouth was just as fresh when they kissed, which was just as well. They didn't need any misadventures with chili oil in sensitive locations.

Thorin led Dori into his tent, the door left just a little open for Bifur to join them, and was pulled eagerly down into the bed on top of her. Her body was soft but sturdy beneath him, her arms welcoming around him. The full moon was bright enough they could see each other even inside the tent. Thorin kissed Dori, knew her mouth and her breath before moving on. He kissed the faint roughness at the corner of her jaw. He chased after her quiet little sighs and moans as he kissed the softness of her neck and down to her collarbones as he slowly lay her shirt open for his hands and his mouth. She'd taken off her bra, so her plump little breasts were bare to him. Thorin gathered them up, rubbed his face against them and the soft down of silver hair on her chest and sucked a sweet pink nipple into his mouth.

Dori arched up against Thorin's body with an encouraging moan, her hand tangling in his hair with just a little tug, and Thorin answered with his own moan. His knee found its way between her legs, and Dori rubbed against it. This, always, was so good. So easy. Nothing was needed of Thorin but serving Dori's pleasure. He stroked her belly, her thighs and arms as he switched from nipple to nipple, adoring the sounds of her pleasure, the play of muscles beneath the softness that wrapped her body in beautiful roundness.

"How lucky am I..." Dori crooned softly, falling into the cadences of their own Khuzdul. The language of their people that could not be taken from them. It was a secret language now, a hidden language, but their own still. "So lucky to have a King at my breast."

"I am no King," Thorin answered in the same.

"You would have been," Dori leaned down to kiss his brow before arching her chest up to encourage him to continue sucking her nipple. "What a King you would have been... what would I be?" she mused.

"A Queen in your own right," Thorin promised her. "Beauty among Beauties." He stroked her body, worshiped her, _loved_ her and all she was. "Kings would offer tribute to your house, begging for your eyes to turn their way."

Dori's bottom lip trembled slightly, and Thorin kissed it, kissed her brow, held her close. "I would see you dressed in gold and silver and amethyst," he murmured to her. "The brightest feathers traded from lands far away, mother-of-pearl all the way from the sea, cloth woven light as mist. All the fine things in the world gifted for love of you."

The tent rustled as Bifur joined them, already shirtless – his hunter's feet were so light Thorin hadn't heard his approach. Thorin and Dori both reached out to him, and Bifur joined them in the bed. He kissed Dori first, before Thorin. Bifur kissed with all his body, rougher and hungrier than Dori, and Thorin could feel the hardness of his strap-on under his pants as Bifur ground it against him.

"The hunters, too, would love you," Bifur murmured to Dori. His Khuzdul came far easier to him than the common speech, not that any words came easily to him. Thorin wondered how much Bifur had overheard before he decided to join them. Bifur eased in to the other side of Dori from Thorin as they rearranged themselves. He tugged on her shirt, removing it entirely and kissing her neck, her shoulderblades and down. "The boldest hunts would be dedicated to you. You would have the richest meats, softest leathers, warmest furs. Beads and bangles carved, bone and antler and wood." Bifur seemed to have used all his words up as he kissed his way back up Dori's back. She whimpered quietly at the feeling, and Thorin kissed the sweet sound of it from her lips.

"I don't need any of that," Dori gasped. One of Bifur's hands found its way around Dori, stroking both her and Thorin. Thorin did the same, admiring Dori's softness in contrast to Bifur's harder build.

"And yet I would give them to you, if it made you happy," Thorin answered. Bifur hummed his agreement, kissing Dori's ear.

"Ridiculous men," there was laughter in Dori's voice now. "I only want love from you."

"You have it," Thorin promised. Bifur mumbled his agreement against her skin, and together they did all they could to _show_ her. Bifur moved faster than Thorin, bolder. Thorin had not strayed further than Dori's nipples when Bifur had already put a glove on and gotten wordless permission to stroke Dori's clit.

Bifur and Thorin moved around Dori and around each other, searching for her best pleasure. Thorin was honored to hold her, to tease at her breasts and kiss her neck and mouth when Bifur helped Dori out of her pants and put a condom over her soft clit to suck her. Dori held a fistful of Bifur's thick graying hair, encouraging him as he sucked. Her other hand reached up to Thorin, petted the side of his face when her pleasure was beyond words and could only be spoken in soft broken sounds.

"You're so beautiful," Thorin whispered against her neck. "So beautiful like this. I could watch your pleasure forever."

Bifur gathered some of the soft skin of Dori's purse, and pressed one gloved finger, and then two into her. Muffing her, stroking her inside. Dori's moans turned rougher, her body shaking, and Thorin held her through the long quaking waves of her orgasm.

"Oh Bifur..." Dori sighed, loose-limbed and warm in Thorin's arms. "No one does that as well as you." Bifur grinned his satisfaction as he cleaned up.

It was Dori's turn to hold Thorin next. He buried his face in her breasts to muffle himself as Bifur used plenty of lube and those same clever fingers Dori had praised to ease Thorin's ass open enough for his strap-on to fuck him properly.

Thorin never lasted long that way. He came into his hand and a condom with Dori's fingers carding through his hair and the soft murmur of her nonsense whispers in his ears. With Bifur's hands hard on his hips, spread wide on Bifur's silicone cock, with the feel of Bifur's hips smacking against his own – but nothing clearer than the perfect pounding inside him.

Thorin collapsed from his knees when he was done, noodle-limbed and useless. Bifur hummed a pleased note and shucked out of his strap-on harness. The juncture of his thighs was wet with his slick, his little cock hanging plump between his legs.

"I... I could get a dental dam and..." Thorin offered weakly as Bifur began to stroke himself. Bifur shook his head and crawled up to kiss Thorin instead. It was a hard kiss, all teeth and hard claiming tongue. Thorin moaned and yielded as easily here as he had to Bifur's strap-on. Thorin's arms came up to hold Bifur, stroked his back and teased at the sensitive scars across Bifur's chest, and Dori's hands joined his. Bifur's climax did not take long. He arched back with a barked groan, shuddered through, and collapsed across both Thorin and Dori.

They all three lay together for a moment, breathing hard and gathering themselves back together, before Bifur and Thorin cleaned up. They were all three glad of Thorin's water bottle. Thorin curled around Dori's wonderful softness and pulled a blanket over them, petting her absently as she and Bifur shared a few more kisses.

Thorin invited him to stay, but Bifur shook his head and got himself dressed.

"Thank you for joining us," Dori said, patting his thigh.

"Always," Bifur said gruffly, clearly struggling for the right words for her. "Always welcome. With Lari."

"I know, dear." Dori smiled at him. "And I _will_ take the pair of you up on that offer again."

Bifur nodded to them both, and then Thorin was alone with Dori. He nuzzled into her soft silver hair, just luxuriating in holding her close.

"Oh, I forgot my comb," Dori mused, yawning. "My hair is going to be an awful mess in the morning."

"I will brush it for you, if you will allow," Thorin offered.

Dori answered only with a pleased hum, and they drifted to sleep cuddled up together in the blankets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I have accidentally written something wrong/hurtful, please tell me. I promise I won't take it badly. I always want to understand and write better, and I _never_ want to hurt anyone.


	2. Rivendell - 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Nori and Dwalin also have a good evening

Dwalin pulled at the ropes that so expertly tethered his hands above his head. His back arched up off the bedroll, the whine in his throat breaking off in a desperate gasp when Nori's hips finally snapped forward again, lube-slicked cock spearing deep into Dwalin for one moment of searing pleasure before he drew back again. Teasing. Just barely inside Dwalin when Dwalin needed him so bad.

"Nori," Dwalin begged. "Nori, _please_." He got one leg around Nori's slender body, trying to pull him in while Nori barely, just _barely,_ moved.

"I'll tie your legs next time," Nori promised, a touch breathless himself. His teeth flashed in a hungry smile, eyes burning down at Dwalin. "Have you spread open for me. Just waiting. Helpless to do anything but _feel_ whatever I want to do to you," he purred.

Dwalin couldn't help his breathless moan at the thought, the way his cock twitched with arousal, and Nori laughed. He played Dwalin far too well; cracked him open and lay him bare. Dwalin's body twitched and shook, arse clenching down on Nori at the slightest indication that he was finally going to thrust again. Dwalin's entire body was keyed up for it, his entire focus taken by trying to predict Nori's next move, but Nori still managed to surprise him on the next vicious thrust. Three thrusts, fast and hard with burning intensity that had Dwalin crying out, and then Nori was drawing back slow and smooth again.

Dwalin cursed him for it. He used the tether of rope around his wrists as leverage to buck and arch against Nori, trying to grind him in, get him deep again. Nori laughed again, holding still and letting Dwalin fuck himself on his cock, just shy of deep enough no matter how hard Dwalin tried.

"Cruel," Dwalin accused. "Why are you so cruel?"

"You love it," Nori shot back, and Dwalin could not deny it. He wanted, he _burned_ to finish fast and hard, and he knew it would be so much better for Nori making him wait and work for it.

Nori ran his hands up Dwalin's flexing body, up his stomach and across his chest, kneading the muscles there for just a moment before his fingers found Dwalin's nipples. He pinched one and then the other lightly, teasing them up into hard pebbles to play with. Dwalin's spine arched up, pushing his chest toward Nori's hands for more even as he cursed Nori for teasing.

Nori was inexorable, unstoppable. No curse or plea could sway him. Nothing but if Dwalin told him to stop, and nothing in the world could drag those words out of Dwalin's mouth. Not when he wanted this so badly. Not when it felt so good. Nori pinched and sucked and bit Dwalin's nipples into points of pleasure and pain that would have been enough make Dwalin thrash on their own. Nevermind Nori's cock thrusting into his arse all messy-slick, Nori's body above his, Nori's hands everywhere on him, Nori's bites and kisses everywhere he could reach.

Nori lifted one of Dwalin's legs over his shoulder, finally fucking into him hard and deep. "You're so..." Nori gasped, his hair all fallen out of its tie, sticking to the sweat on both of their bodies. "You're s..." He bit into his bottom lip, eyes squeezing shut with a whine. Dwalin felt Nori's entire body tense, fighting against it, before he succumbed to the inevitability of his climax. Nori's hips jerked, wet heat flooding into Dwalin, but Nori'd never been one to admit defeat. He drove into Dwalin, fucking him all the harder, falling forward to bury his teeth in Dwalin's exposed throat. Nori's hand found its way between them, jerking Dwalin's cock fast and hard.

Dwalin gasped some broken part of a word as he was finally driven over the edge between the overwhelming sharpness of Nori's teeth, the trust of his cock, and the grip of his hand. It burned through him, that long-delayed pleasure breaking through him like a cable snapped beneath the pressure. Nori collapsed trembling on top of Dwalin as Dwalin's body shook and bucked through his orgasm.

Nori whimpered slightly as his cock slipped out of Dwalin. One hand slid up Dwalin's arms one last time – but to pull on the ropes that set him free rather than just to check his circulation this time. Dwalin finally tugged his wrists free of the ropes and lowered his slightly stiff arms to hold Nori close. Nori made a small concerned sound over the slight bruises Dwalin had given himself by pulling so hard on the ropes, but it wasn't bad. It would hardly even show come morning.

" 'm sorry, you were just too sexy..." Nori mumbled against Dwalin's chest. His hands were stroking everywhere they could reach, warm affection all over Dwalin's body. "You were so good. So good to me."

"It was perfect," Dwalin answered, squeezing Nori tighter. His entire body was singing with the pleasure, like he might float away without Nori to anchor him to the ground. "You're perfect. I love you."

Nori made a small embarrassed sound, hiding his face against Dwalin's chest, and Dwalin laughed as he stroked Nori's hair and held him close. "It's true," Dwalin promised.

"You sap," Nori nipped lightly at Dwalin's pec, but subsided back into a cuddle when Dwalin growled warning. "We're all filthy and sweaty. We'll have to wash up all over again and the damn hippies' solar showers won't be warm anymore."

"It's perfect," Dwalin protested, rolling them over onto their sides. He scooted down, searching for Nori's mouth to kiss. Nori softened as he kissed Dwalin, his arms circling around to hold Dwalin. He stroked Dwalin's shoulders and cradled his head close until Dwalin almost felt like he was the small one and Nori was big and strong to protect him. A pleased hum found its way out of his throat as he nuzzled under Nori's chin, buried his face against Nori's neck.

"Yeah," Nori whispered, pressing a soft kiss to the top of Dwalin's head, "it's perfect."


	3. Beorn's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me all day to write and for the first time ever I have felt it neccessary to tag something with 'gratuitous oral sex'. Thanks Beorn, you hedonist.
> 
> Beorn/Bombur

The cook, Bombur, helped Beorn put away everything he'd brought out for dinner. He didn't mind just her coming into his house. She was quiet. He didn't want the rest of them, and Bombur seemed to realize this. She sent the energetic pair of young girls – Fili and Kili – off with hardly more than a look and a gesture when they tried to help too. Bombur was quiet, but her raucous company respected her. Beorn liked that.

Bombur sighed heavily when they were done, leaning back against the counter beside Beorn. She fanned herself with the top of her shirt. Bombur was built generously in all directions except up, and Beorn was tall. He had not intended to look down her shirt, and looked away from her ample breasts quickly with his face heating.

Bombur shifted beside Beorn, and the soft skin of her arm pressed lightly against Beorn's forearm. He all but froze, his entire arm prickling with the awareness of her closeness.

"Mind if I stay a minute before braving the masses?" Bombur asked. It sounded like a real question too, like she would take 'no' just as easily as 'yes'.

Beorn nodded. "They are... a lot," he said, looking out the window. Some of them had begun some sort of game of keep-away, tossing things back and forth. There was a lot of laughter, and the dogs were excitedly running around and barking. It looked like they were having fun, but it wasn't for Beorn. It shouldn't be happening on _his_ property. Bombur's arm was still touching his. She hadn't realized and moved away like it was an accident, but maybe she was used to touching people more and didn't even notice. She wasn't a hermit like Beorn was.

Bombur laughed a bit herself. "They are," she agreed. "My oldest boy hides when too many come around. I love them, but sometimes I'm tempted to join him." She sighed again, shaking her head. "I need space."

Ah, so she _was_ a mother after all. Beorn thought he'd gathered that much while he was observing the company. "You are welcome," Beorn told her. Just Bombur he didn't mind in his house. She understood needing peace and quiet. "Anything you want."

Bombur hummed a quiet sound at that, pleased maybe. Her arm moved against his, the backs of her knuckles brushing lightly against the back of his hand. _That_ could not be mistaken for accidental, not with it continuing, soft fingers stroking his. A small shudder traveled through Beorn's body, and his hand turned practically on its own to open to hers. It had been longer than he liked to dwell on since he'd known a woman's touch.

" _Anything_ I want?" Bombur asked, as her soft palm nestled into his hand. Her eyes were very direct, beneath the pretty braids that crowned her head. She looked Beorn up and down frankly, not hiding her intent. Beorn hadn't been away from others so long he didn't realize when he was being flirted with, even if the woman in question was quiet about it. Bombur had been watching him, smiling at him, and the way she'd licked honey from her fingers had been anything but unintentional.

Beorn hadn't realized she was serious about it. Some people just flirted with everyone. He squeezed her hand, swallowing hard as he nodded.

Bombur made that same pleased little hum again, squeezing his hand back. She leaned closer against him, and Beorn leaned back against her as though his heart wasn't going like a jackrabbit. He wanted Bombur. She was so soft, so round. His mind was filled with how good she would feel to touch, to hold, now that he was letting himself think of it. What she might taste like. What her moans might sound like with his head squeezed between her thighs.

"What would you like, if we do?" Bombur asked eventually. Like it was the most normal question in the world. Maybe it was.

"Eat you out until you're done with me or I drown," Beorn answered honestly. It seemed to have been the right answer, because Bombur blushed and bit her full bottom lip as she smiled up at him. She took a step in front of him, reaching up to brush his chest hair where it was exposed by the open collar of his shirt.

Beorn covered her hand with his, certain she'd feel the pounding of his heart. He touched the modestly jeweled band around her ring finger in a silent question.

"I'm married," Bombur confirmed. "We're open, though," she continued before Beorn could question the wisdom of pursuing this. "We occasionally look outside. Do you have condoms? I'd like to ride you after you go down."

Beorn's brain jolted over what that would be like – with Bombur above him, with all of her within easy reach, all slick and snug on his cock. Condoms. _Did_ he have condoms? There must still be some in the bedside cabinet, somewhere under things he had a use for.

"I would like that," Beorn said, utterly heartfelt. "I think I have condoms?"

"I can get some from Oin if yours have expired," Bombur said, again like it was the simplest and most obvious thing. As though it were perfectly normal for her entire rowdy company to know she was going to have sex. It was good, Beorn supposed, that she didn't think it was something that needed to be hidden despite all of Thorin's unsubtle glowering when they were outside. He wouldn't like to think of himself as a homewrecker. He nodded.

"But first..." Bombur fanned herself with the top of her shirt again, a twinkle in her eye when Beorn got a second eyeful and jerked his gaze back up to her face. "Do you have a shower?"

Beorn did, in fact, have a shower. He showed her to it. He'd taken a lot of time and effort building his home, and he saw Bombur's appreciation of his work in the way she smiled at particularly pretty woodwork, or reached out to touch this or that. He'd built his home for himself, but it was nice to have it be admired, even if she did comment that everything was very tall. Beorn's house was not set up for guests, but it was clean at least. He only had his own towel to offer, but it had been recently washed and Bombur said it was fine.

"I'll just freshen up. Won't take a moment," she promised, and Beorn closed the bathroom door behind her.

Beorn had time to straighten up his bedroom nook. He kept a _clean_ bachelor home, but it was still a bachelor home. He shoved the few pieces of dirty clothes around into the hamper, turned down one corner of the blankets, and plumped the pillows to make them look inviting. He dug around in the drawer for condoms, and they luckily still had a few years before they were set to expire. The bubble was still good on the packets too when he squeezed them to check. He set them within easy reach, so they would be available, and lit a small oil lamp because the sun was setting and soon it would be dark.

He took off his shirt.

Then he put it on again.

Then off again.

Beorn had nearly decided to put his shirt on again when Bombur came out of the shower, and _she_ wasn't wearing anything but his towel. Then she opened it and wasn't wearing anything at all. Beorn's eyes swept over her, jumping from delight to delight. Her skin was all faintly glistening, soft and warm from the shower. Her breasts were heavy, much more than a handful, crowned with wide brown nipples. Her thighs and the soft rolls of her belly were decorated with the tiger-stripes of past pregnancies. Below that he could spot just a hint of curls between the fullness of her thighs. Bombur was smiling just a little shyly, watching his reaction as she did something with her hair. She pulled pins free, and her braid uncoiled from the top of her head to fall in a loop in front of her. It was long, far longer than he had realized, and she'd braided the ends into each other somehow so it fell and rose again with no end.

"Oh," Beorn breathed, reaching out to her. Welcoming her to him, and she came to him smiling. He touched her soft cheek, her magnificent braid, her round shoulder, and finally down to her back as she pressed the overwhelming softness of her body against him and stretched up for a kiss. Bombur's lips were soft, her mouth was sweet, and her hands were stroking all over his body as well. She was better to touch that Beorn had even imagined. She gasped aloud when he lifted her onto the bed, and he made sure she was comfortable with the pillows before he set to the task of kissing all the way down her body.

Bombur held Beorn close, stroked his back and hair as he buried his face in the sweet generosity of her breasts. He kissed between and over and under before he kissed her nipples.

"Mmm, you sweetheart," Bombur purred, "You had condoms after all?"

"Mm," Beorn agreed, gesturing briefly toward the string of them on the bedside table. He had better uses for his hands than gesturing, better uses for his mouth than talking. He stroked her body everywhere he could reach, and she answered with pleased moans even as she leaned over to grab the string.

"Extra large..." she mused, and Beorn could hear the plastic crinkle. "Very good, oh yes." Bombur tossed the condoms back where they'd come from and returned to holding him.

Beorn took his time working his way to Bombur's sex. It was his goal and his destination, but there was much that needed his attention along the way. He loved her belly, lavished attention on her thighs, before finally reaching what lie between them. She was slick and wet waiting for him when Beorn finally nosed his way into the softness of her mound and licked between her plump labia.

Beorn had long decided that if you were afraid of making a mess you were doing sex wrong, and he had no intention of doing it wrong. Bombur's slickness was more than generous. Soon it soaked through Beorn's beard, stray smears reaching his nose and cheeks, marking his face as her own. She was nearly tasteless at first, clean from her shower, but soon her natural muskiness came through, rich and silky under his tongue. Her legs rested on his shoulders, her hands grabbed or carded through his hair or played with her own nipples.

Beorn diligently worked Bombur up to an orgasm, centering his attention on the little nub of her clit. She whined, high and quiet in the back of her throat, and Beorn felt warm wetness flooding into his beard just an instant before her hand clenched in his hair and she was bucking and squirming through her orgasm. He drank her in, slurped her up, and chased after her every moan and tremble.

Bombur was half laughing when the tension left her and she flopped loose on the bed again. Beorn hummed approvingly, licking softer now to let her recover.

"It'll take me _forever_ to come again," she warned.

"I am happy here," Beorn answered. He took the moment to readjust himself, to ease muscles that had gone stiff. His jaw was beginning to ache, but that was far secondary to the pleasure of getting to pleasure her. He resumed licking, looking up at her hopefully.

"I'm not complaining," Bombur sighed, relaxing back against the pillows.

Beorn took his time now, just enjoying Bombur while he had her. He kissed her labia all the way down, smearing her slick further across his face on the trip. He spread her open wide with both hands and licked as deeply into her as a tongue could go, taking all the creamy slickness he could find before heading back up to her clit – now left utterly exposed to him. He rubbed the balls of his thumbs up and down Bombur's sex, playing in her slick, until with her whispered encouragement he pressed both inside her. She was so silky inside, so soft, and squeezing down so tight when he succeeded in bringing her to a second orgasm. She bucked hard, grinding her sex against his face with a low snarl that devolved back into laughter as she finished.

"That's enough now." Bombur patted Beorn's head, and he obediently released her. "My turn," she said, grabbing a condom. It took Beorn a moment to change gears. He grabbed one of the pillows to wipe his face clean first – it would hold Bombur's scent for him for days, his to relive and enjoy – and then removed his pants and boxers. Bombur gestured him over and Beorn lay down beside her. His cock had not yet realized it was supposed to be in on this now and was not even half-hard against his thigh. Bombur rolled the condom over his cock anyway, stroking it firmly as she guided his hand up to her breasts. Beorn was more than happy to squeeze and enjoy them, and soon his cock was fully hard and interested.

"Extra large was warranted after all. I wondered," Bombur mused, giving his cock an extra squeeze with a grin. She kissed him, sweet lips against his own, and then nudged him over onto his back and climbed on top of him. She worked her way onto him slowly, soft thighs spread around him as she rose and fell and the slick heat of her sex replaced her hand on his cock until he was all the way inside her. He was held inside her strength and softness, pulled into the sweet welcome with her hands braced on his chest and his hands free to touch every part of her lovely body. The loop of her braid bounced between her body and his as she rocked over him and he thrust up into her. She clenched down on him, squeezed him tight with the muscles inside her, and laughed when he gasped. He could feel her laughter too through the connection of their bodies.

"I will not last," Beorn warned. It had been far too long since he'd had anything but his own hand and imagination. It was more than half a miracle he'd lasted any time at all.

"That's fine," Bombur promised, squeezing down on him again as she rose and fell. Her wetness was everywhere, squishy wet sounds between their bodies as they moved together. It was perfect, and beautiful, and Beorn drank in every last sensation until it inevitably drove him over the edge with Bombur's sweet laughter above him like a blessing.

 

Beorn's bed was big enough they could move out of their collective damp spot to cuddle afterward. Bombur's body was compact enough to fit easily inside Beorn's when they spooned. She held his hand to her breast, so soft and generous to squeeze and admire, and he pressed soft kisses to her shoulders and the nape of her neck. He thought they might fall asleep there, when there was a tentative knocking on the door.

"Bombur?" a voice asked through it. "Bombur, are you there? You alright?"

Bombur sighed heavily. "My brother," she said, rolling her eyes. She slid out of Beorn's arms and padded off to the door utterly bare save the braid loop that fell across her breasts. She threw the door open and stood lit in moonlight with her hands on her hips.

"Bombur!" the man who'd knocked, her brother, spun away with his hands over his eyes. The second man, the one with the scars on his forehead, gave a low whistle and laughed – but his eyes never traveled below her face. "We were just checking you were ok!" the first man protested.

"I'm wonderful," Bombur said, accepting a congratulatory kiss to the cheek from the scarred man. "Good night, see you in the morning." She closed the door in their faces and shook her head with a huff as she made her way back to Beorn's bed.

Beorn was laughing as he welcomed her back into the bed, and she laughed with him. He cuddled her close for this one night she'd gifted him. Truly, she _was_ wonderful.


	4. Near Mirkwood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile, back at the hotel... 
> 
> Bilbo/Bofur

When Bilbo said he'd booked himself a room, Bofur hadn't expected _this_. He'd expected a room in the kind of hotel you checked to make sure the sheets were clean before you got in the bed.

He'd not expected the honeymoon suite in the nicest hotel in town. Not at all. He didn't know what to do with himself in the big room, with the crisp sheets turned down invitingly on the king-sized bed. Bofur's worn dufflebag looked completely out of place at the foot of it, as incongruous as Bofur felt. He shifted awkwardly from foot to foot, listening to the sound of Bilbo in the shower.

There were even roses! A dozen real red roses were arranged in a vase beside the bed, along with a bottle of sparkling pink wine with two glasses and a heart-shaped plate of strawberries that had been dipped in white and dark chocolate to look like tuxedos. They were tasty. Bofur had eaten several of the chocolate strawberries before it occurred to him that he maybe shouldn't have. He put the stems of the ones he'd eaten in the trash, but it was still painfully obvious that some were missing.

Bilbo emerged from the shower all pink and steaming wrapped in an oversized towel, and Bofur forgot all about being awkward and nervous. He wanted to unwrap Bilbo like a candy and eat him all up.

"Shower's all yours," Bilbo said, waving him to it, and Bofur went to the shower instead. It was nice to get clean, that was certain. The shower was big and comfortable with plenty of hot water, and the soap the hotel provided smelled like sandalwood. Bofur chewed his nails down too far to ever need to clip them, but he checked carefully to make sure he had no snags or rough bits. Just in case. He didn't know what Bilbo wanted. The hotel room Bilbo'd gotten them was very romantic, and they'd been doing a fair bit of kissing and cuddling. There'd even been a bit of groping in the tent in Rivendell, but nothing more than that. Bofur didn't know if Bilbo wanted to do anything more sexual than that.

Bofur toweled himself off and wandered back to the main room of the suite. Bilbo was sitting on the bed wrapped in a long dressing gown, leaning back against the headboard reading a book. Bilbo dropped a strawberry stem into the trash by the bed, and Bofur felt better about having started on the strawberries alone. Bofur hitched his towel up higher on his hips, hesitating. Bilbo was dressed, a bit, so maybe Bofur ought to as well. If Bilbo didn't want anything sexual with him.

Except, on the bedside table beside the strawberries and roses, there was now a string of condoms. Bofur's eyes were drawn to them when Bilbo reached for another strawberry. They'd not been there before, which meant Bilbo had put them there. Bilbo's cheeks were very pink above his book, and his eyes darted up to Bofur very briefly before focusing back on his book.

Bofur sat on the bed beside Bilbo's feet, the knots of nervousness leaving him at once. Bilbo was probably just as uncertain as Bofur was. Of course he'd make his offer subtly, let Bofur turn him down gently without ever being pressed.

Turning Bilbo down was the last thing Bofur wanted to do. He ran his fingertips up the side of Bilbo's foot, and Bilbo shivered through with a tiny whimper nearly too quiet to hear. Bofur smiled as he explored further, the surprisingly furry top of Bilbo's foot and then his calf and ankle. He gave it a squeeze, looking up to where Bilbo was biting his lip and not pretending to read anymore.

"So I take it you'd be agreeable to _using_ those condoms with me?" Bofur asked.

"I got those out for the aesthetic," Bilbo snarked back, carefully laying the book aside with his blue-gray eyes sparkling. "Of _course_ I'd like to use them with you."

Bofur was laughing as he leaned forward to press a kiss to the instep of Bilbo's foot. Bilbo's toes curled, a surprised little whine in his throat. Bofur turned his head to kiss the other, and then Bilbo's ankles both. He had to unwrap Bilbo's dressing gown just a little to kiss higher, Bilbo's calves, and then open just a little more to reach Bilbo's knees. There were dimples on Bilbo's knees, and Bofur was morally obligated to thoroughly kiss each one.

Bilbo was whimpering a bit now, breathing fast. His legs squirmed, his toes flexed, and his dressing gown was unmistakably tented at the groin. Bofur grinned against Bilbo's soft skin, and slowly kissed and stroked his way up the inside of Bilbo's thighs.

"Oh Bofur," Bilbo breathed. "Oh _Bofur_." His fingers brushed the side of Bofur's face when he was within reach. Bilbo had untied his dressing gown, but it was left to Bofur to finally lay it the rest of the way open.

Bilbo's cock suited him perfectly, a fat little cock standing up proud from his curls. Bofur licked his lips as he stroked all the way down Bilbo's soft belly, breaking to the side at the last moment to pet Bilbo's thigh instead. Bilbo's hips arched up toward him, small whimper in his throat, and Bofur grinned.

"How about you toss me one of those condoms and I'll suck you off?" he suggested.

Bilbo blinked at him twice before his words seemed to make sense and he dove for the condoms with a quiet 'oh'. He tore a condom off the string rather viciously, nearly upsetting the wine glasses in the process, but Bofur was handed a condom without any accidents.

Bofur hardly paused to check the bubble on the packet before he tore it open and rolled it down over Bilbo's cock. Bilbo's cock jumped in his hand, and Bofur crawled up to kiss the accompanying whimper from Bilbo's mouth. He knelt on his towel a bit in the process and it came undone, leaving him bare, but that was fine. Bilbo's lips were soft against his, his mouth hungry, and he tasted like strawberries and chocolate. He sucked on Bofur's tongue, and Bofur gave his cock a squeeze in answer.

Where before Bofur had kissed his way up, now he kissed down. He kissed down Bilbo's neck, his chest, his belly, slowly stroking Bilbo's cock as he did. Bilbo was shamelessly rutting up into his hand by the time he reached it again. This time Bofur sucked it down immediately.

"Ah!" Bilbo gasped, hips arching up against Bofur's pinning hand. Bofur rode through Bilbo's squirming easily, tipping his head up to be able to see Bilbo's face. Bilbo bit his bottom lip, head tossing back and forth against his pillows as he pinched and rolled his own nipples. He was beautiful, and Bofur moaned his own pleasure against Bilbo's cock in answer to him.

"Oh," Bilbo moaned, cock tensing in Bofur's mouth, voice rising in frequency. "Oh, Oh!" He broke off, biting his fist as his hips jumped, body shaking through in orgasm. Bofur sucked him through it, and let him go with a grin. That had gone very well. He flopped onto the bed beside Bilbo, kissing his cheek, and Bilbo turned his face toward Bofur to kiss him.

It only lasted an instant before Bilbo broke away with his nose wrinkling. "You taste like rubber," he accused.

"So feed me one of those strawberries," Bofur suggested. Condom wasn't his favorite flavor in the world either. Bilbo heaved himself up with a put-upon sigh but his eyes sparkling, and popped a strawberry right into Bofur's mouth. Bofur savored it while Bilbo cleaned himself up with a tissue and then relaxed against the pillows beside him with a strawberry of his own.

Bofur touched Bilbo gently – his chest, his side, his arm – and Bilbo rolled toward him to kiss when he was done with his strawberry. They kissed long and slow and sweet with Bilbo's fingers in the hair at the back of Bofur's neck. Bofur was rock hard rocking into his own hand when they broke from it.

"Hmm, what shall we do with you?" Bilbo asked.

"Anything. Nothing. What do you like?" Bofur tried to kiss Bilbo again, but all he got was the soft edges of Bilbo's chin and neck.

"Well I... eh!" Bilbo squeaked slightly as Bofur nipped at his neck, tilting his head back further and arching his throat up to Bofur. That was definitely worth exploring, and Bofur set to painstakingly exploring the spot. "I could blow you too... _oh Bofur_... if you like but... _mm, yes_... if you give me ten to recover I'd like to... to be fucked for a bit?"

"That fast?" Bofur asked, surprised. A little twinge of pleasure curled around his cock and balls at the thought, making his stomach tense and his cock jump in his hand. Oh he would like that. He would like that very much.

"Sometimes," Bilbo said. "A short refractory period has... _oh Yavanna's mercy your mouth_..."

Bofur continued sucking on Bilbo's nipple, breathing a laugh through his nose. How had he missed that they were sensitive before? He wouldn't be forgetting it again, they were too fun.

"Ok, ok, enough." Bilbo gave a little tug to Bofur's hair, and Bofur obediently let him go. "Goodness, I think you could get me up again in under ten." Bilbo fanned himself a bit, smiling. "But what I _want_ to do is share a glass of wine and some more strawberries and seduce you properly in this nice room I got us."

"I am already fully seduced," Bofur said, but he also rearranged the pillows so he could sit beside Bilbo more comfortably. Bilbo handed him a half glass of the wine, and it was sweet and bubbly and pretty tasty.

"There," Bilbo said, sipping on his own half glass. He pet Bofur's arm and shoulder, and leaned over to nibble on his ear. It was very nice, and Bilbo's body was soft encroaching slowly against his own. "Isn't this better than a smelly tent in the woods?"

Bofur didn't have time to point out that bodies were bodies no matter where they lay down together before Bilbo bit a strawberry and offered the other end to him. He had better things to do, like sharing a strawberry from Bilbo's lips until they were kissing with the teasing promise of more pleasure to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've all enjoyed the smutty sides!


End file.
